My perfect job

I want to be an As Seen On TV Tester. I want to spend someone else's money to buy all the products that are advertised on those half hour paid shows, test them out for a time, and write a review to let the world know if they really live up to their claims.

First on my list: The slicer thing called the magic chopper. There's NO WAY that sucker can cut things like that. It shows up diced after it's passed through the blades, but you would have to take it out and do it again to get that result. I just can't figure it out.

Then: the blanket with arms... yes! Nothing better for a cold blooded gal who likes to snuggle on the couch.

The magic bullet... not that kind... the party they throw on the TV looks so fun! And it makes like a million things. Great as long as you have a dishwasher. I wonder if you could chop non food items up?

Spanks... I just like the name.

Bow Flex: As long as it comes with an instructor... to help me use it... otherwise you might find me tangled in all the strings like a discombobulated spider.

Slendertone ab machine thingy: Come on, great abs while doing nothing but sending electric pulses through your middle while you sit on your butt and watch more infomercials? HEAVEN!!!

Purse brite mini organizer: Yeah, right.

The Little Giant: It's a ladder... but it twists and turns and gets bigger and even makes a bridge.

Pro Caulk: No way this can work, its too easy

Sham Wow: Will I really say wow every time?

There's so much stuff that I would love to try!

Did I mention that I LOVE infomercials, and if I were independently wealthy I would buy so much crap!

Nope :(

I didn't get the job.

As a matter of fact I got rejected in a "form" e-mail. Yeah. "Dear applicant" it said. They did have 38 people to notify, that's a lot of calls.

I am disappointed, for we had already spent the oodles of moolah (ha ha) I would have made in our minds. And I probably wouldn't have had to search for a job in the spring. And somebody would have taken me away from my children, because after being cooped up for 4 days due to the obscenely low temperatures, they need me to go away from them for a while.

It's just hard to get rejected, even if it is better. You hype yourself up, and convince yourself you're so good so you can convince them, and then it's a blow to the ego when they don't realize how fabulous you are. I got the impression from the assistant principal he was doubtful that I could handle a room full of high schoolers, and I didn't make the point very clear that of course I can.

On the other hand I don't have to bring homework home, or walk into someone else's classroom and try to live up to their popular reputation. And, because it was full time, that meant full time baby sitting and a sharp reduction in breast feeding. So now I will be able to sub when I want to and make sure I can try to breast feed up to a year. I also have the opportunity to get to know other schools, so when I do apply I can have a foot in the door.

It doesn't totally suck, just kind of.

Still... What is taking so long?!?!

JUST GIVE ME THE JOB ALREADY!!!

Yesterday I got called for my 2nd subbing job... today, they cancelled school, again...

What is God trying to teach me today? Or is he just being funny?

Still... waiting...

Yesterday I got a call for my first subbing job. Great! Finally back into a classroom!

Today, they cancelled school, again. Heavy sigh.

And the school I applied to for the full time job is cancelled. Does that mean they won't call? Grrrrr!

And it is way below zero. My husband said -30 according to the car. My soon to be sitter, if I ever get to go teach, said it's colder here than the north pole.

WHAT?!?! Why did we move back again?

Waiting...

I hate waiting SO MUCH!

No word yet. What does that mean? Does it mean they are interviewing more people? Does it mean they need to go through all the red tape and get a contract ready before they call? Does it mean they've offered it to someone else and they are waiting for their response before they call me to let me down?

It's so nerve racking! Why don't they just call?

It went well, I think. Of course all night I just kept thinking back to stupid responses or things I wish I had explained better. I replay it over and over trying to analyze their reaction to things I said.

I try not to get my hopes up, but despite my best efforts I will be disappointed if I don't get it. But I have to remember everything happens for a reason, and something even better could be waiting for me.

Okay, CALL...

NOW!...

How about ... NOW!

now?
now?

... right... now?

Hey, if you readers have my home number and really want to mess with me, call the house phone, because every time it rings I feel like vomiting! Pretty entertaining.

interview!

Monday at 1:30! Wish me luck! Thanks for all your prayers and thoughts!

He called!

Yesterday, after a relentless husband pestered me into calling the Principal for that job, I did call and leave a message saying I had turned in my application and was waiting on my recommendation letters. Then, last night the phone rang just before 6pm. My husband yells from the other room, "That's your new boss!" which I pishawed, saying it was too late and it was probably my dad.

But it was the principal! He wanted to explain that the job was just for the remainder of this year, and they weren't sure if it would be available for next year, but if it was, of course the person already there stood a good chance. Then he asked if it changed my mind about applying.

I said I do want a full time position for next year, but this job was right up my alley. He said to take the weekend to think about it and call him if I wanted an interview!

Yay! Somebody wants me!

So I don't need the weekend, I do think I want the job. The upside is a steady paycheck, regular schedule, and a local (hopefully kick-butt) recommendation for a job next year, or the potential to stay there.

The down side is that I won't get to experience other schools in the area, get my foot in the door. And it's full time, so I have to figure out the day care and pumping and so on, but that isn't impossible.

But I think I will be calling in 12 minutes here to tell him to consider me.

DONE!

Good God, there's a lot of stuff to submit to just sub! But I did it, all done. My poor cotton ball head was able to dust of the resume and cover letter and all those addresses and contacts. It took forever because any sort of squeeking from the kiddos just pushes me over the edge and I can't focus.

Now the thing I wasn't expecting was to apply for a full time position! It begins this sememster, for a Social studies teacher, mostly American and World history, with a team teaching block history/language arts, which I have experience in! Right up my alley!

I talked to the principal, and he seemed enthusiasic about me applying, even though there are already 38 other applicants. He said most of them would be weeded out. And he even informed me of some babysitters! So what they hey.

Jeremy is very excited for it though. I have to admit, it does feel like the perfect job at the perfect time...

Strange requests

My daughter has been running around this morning asking for 2 very strange things for a 2 year old...

"Where's my Lexus? I want my Lexus. Daddy have you seen my Lexus?"

and

"More crack whores! I want more crack whores! Please?"

Wow.

Lexus = necklace

Crack whores = crackers

Thank God... otherwise she better marry rich!

Procrastination and New Years Resolutions

Usually, when people procrastinate, they find other things to do that are fun. Like, instead of paying bills, they go shopping, or instead of taking out the trash they read a book. For me, if there is something I should be doing, it paralyzes me. I know I should be doing X, so I don't even bother doing Y, because I'll just feel guilty.

I've been needing to type my resume and cover letter to get back to teaching. So instead I have found lots of thing to NOT do. I have not been blogging. I have not been reading (unless you count that grandma porn I finished last week, the one where the grandpa married a woman half his age 3 weeks after his wife passed... ) I have not been taking bubble baths, having facials, exercising. I have been doing the bare minimum.

I have also not been making New Years resolutions. I feel I'm doomed to failure, so why bother. I have seen some really great ones on other peoples blogs and I'm envious. What I would like to do is this:
1. Exercise 3 days a week. Do anything that makes my muscles feel stronger and my back feel better.
2. Get up when the alarm clock goes off. Snooze is the devil's tool.
3. Do stuff now. Throw stuff away, wipe down the counters, fold the laundry, put stuff back, all those little things that lead to one massive clean up right before company comes over. If I just do it right away, I won't have to do it last minute, right?
4. Get a job.
5. Enjoy the moment with my children, husband, family.
6. Take a bubble bath once a week.
7. Read one good book every month.

I think that's enough for now... which one of these do I want to do right this very minute?
Okay, I'm starting my resume.