Odds and Ends

Not really feeling the writing urge, I think because I've got homework to do so just a quick update to keep my typing fingers loose...

Homework is going painfully slow, I think because I get so backed up about how long it takes me that I don't even want to start it. I am learning a lot. It's interesting. I'm just not motivated, which is leading to procrastination, which is leading to panic, which makes me want to do it less. That and when I get a large chunk of time is a night when I'm tired. I will just focus on my end goal, which is my dream job, which is why I'm getting the endorsement.

I'm taking a hip hop class. I love learning new dances and perfecting them. The other ladies in the class are all former students of the instructor and friends, so I feel like an odd ball, but I'll work my charm. I wish it was longer too, it's only a half hour. I could use a good hour long brutal session once a week, but I'll take what I can get.

Subbing is still going well and I'm busy. I know this is what I need to do, and I'm being valuable to teachers and students as well as my family bringing a paycheck home. I got to sub a Beckman today, which would be really nice to teach at. I need more days there to work my charm!

My children are doing well, and with any luck this last round of sickness built up immunity and they'll be good the rest of the winter. I both hate and like it when they're sick, because I get to cuddle them, unopposed. But I don't like that I can't fix it right away.

I'm on cruise, waiting for God to point me in the right direction.

A whole lot of nothing

I'm coming down off my high of having hosted a fabulous pumpkin carving party at our house. I've often envied my dear friend Carrie, who is a top notch party planner, and could shame Martha with her organization, cooking, and cleaning skills. I am the antithesis of Martha, I abhor her, and the only respect I have of her is that she is so respected by Carrie, who I very much respect, so I guess she's okay. It went off without a hitch and I will post pictures when I get downstairs to pull them off the computer.

I've been subbing a lot, and some teachers are starting to take note. I had one stop in while I was subbing for another to let me know she appreciates me and that she'd love to work with me as a full time teacher. One teacher by-passed the automated call system for subs and called me directly to ask me to sub because she liked the job I did. She said other people in the building have taken note. Friday I was told by the two aides in the room that I needed to come back if the teacher was ever sick again, and I think they told the principal because she stopped in to watch me for a while.

I am establishing a good reputation and I'm working to meet my requirements for the whole social studies endorsement. I will have it by this summer. This will all help me reach my goal of having my very own classroom, with my very own kids to teach, broaden their horizons, share my experiences with, and learn from. I can't wait!

However, the announcement by our governor of budget cuts across the board has many schools and teachers panicking. Just walking through the doors the morning of the announcement, you could taste, smell, feel the fear. Teachers were huddled in little groups in the hallway, discussing what it meant for them and their colleagues. And I just want to throw my hands up in despair. Can't a girl catch a break? Will I be faced with yet another year of subbing? How can I make myself more competitive with teachers just out of college at a lower pay step?

I keep telling myself not to panic, the right job will come along, maybe this is just what I need to be doing right now with little ones, be patient... but negative thoughts keep popping into my head without warning, no matter how much I repeat those positive mantras to myself. I feel like there's a whole lot of nothing for job prospects right now, but I keep hearing from the education experts, "We desperately need good teachers!" I'm a good teacher! Here I am! Come and get me! I'm smart, I have lots of life and classroom experience, I'm passionate about learning, I have excellent rapport with students and colleagues, and I can walk into any classroom and control it. I just need a possibility!

Making up for being a bad mommy.

I have another child. There are no framed photos of her, her baby hand print is nowhere to be found, and I have not written about her for a while.

Her name is Emily, AKA Beanie Baby, (because she likes beans) Rocky, (because she likes rocks) Tank, (because she will plow through anything and just keep going) Chunk, (she used to be pretty chunky, and resembled Chunk from the Goonies) or Pumpkin (because she's cute).

She is growing so fast! Emily has started to listen and follow simple commands. "Where's your juice?" She will run and get her sippy cup. "Are you done?" She will nod or shake her head depending on what she wants. "Go get your shoes and bring them to me." She will go get them and then plop herself down to get her shoes put on. "No, don't...

...stand on the chair...

...pull all the tupperware out of the cupboard...

...put that in your mouth...

...touch the cat food...

...destroy my living room..."

Well, we have some things to work on!

She still really enjoys peek-a-boo, but the new favorite game is pointing and laughing, with great big toothy grins and large rolling belly laughs. We point and laugh back and everyone has a great time.

She gives the best kisses. She leans in, with a little smirk on her lips, bats her baby blue eyes, and plants a slimy, snot and saliva smooch right on the mouth. It's a kiss only a mommy could love, even though I make her sister give her kisses, because I think it's funny. "Ewwww! She SLIMED me!!!"

She has three new teeth recently, and it's been a struggle. She hasn't been her usual cheery self, but very irritable, with inconsistent eating habits, (not shoving everything in as fast as possible is unusual) and strange and variable poops.

She doesn't like my cooking. I know this because every time I go to do it she screams, clings to my legs, and uses language that I'm sure could rival the filthiest sailor, if I could understand it. She even cries real tears. It's awful! There is no distraction technique that has worked, she is very focused on making an already distasteful chore all that much more unenjoyable. So I can only conclude that she doesn't enjoy my cooking and would rather eat what daddy cooks. Me too, kiddo!

She now has a new passion for reading. The day I spoke my fear out loud to the sitter, my mom and my husband, that this baby does not like to sit still and read books, she discovered she actually did like some literature, and now regularly brings me her favorites. These include the bright and colorful set of 4 we bought from the traveling salesman, titled "My Word Book", "My Color Book", "My Number Book", and "My Shape Book." She also enjoys "How to be a Good Dog", "My Pretty Kitten", which is a little dirty and inappropriate for those of us with dirty minds, but it keeps it entertaining, "One, Two", and her new book from Grandma, "5 Little Lady Bugs." She is constantly bringing books up to us now and insisting that we read to her, which is great. I'm not sure who enjoys it more, me or her.

So, there's the update on Sweet Pickles, along with some pics...