I've got spirit, yes I do! I've got spirit, how 'bout you!

I am in search of some Christmas Spirit. I believe I feel Christmas has become a little too commercialized for me this year for some reason. I think it was the Target commercial about "winning Christmas" that did it for me. I'm not even getting excited about giving gifts to other people and watching them open them. I'm nervous they won't like it, be disappointed, or compare it to their gift for me. I just don't want Christmas to be about the gifts this year.

I want it to be about Jesus and God, and I'm trying to find some quiet time for prayer to prepare my heart this Advent season... HA! HA! HA! I know, I know, I said quiet time!

I think my kids will be key to ridding me of this Scroogeyness. Addie gets that this is about baby Jesus, it's his birthday, miracles happen (like staying on Santa's nice list... that will be miracle for her!). Emily is wowed by all the pretty lights and breakables on the tree, but she also seems to get that that totally breakable baby figurine is important somehow, and she handles it with care. She wants for nothing and seem to appreciate the smallest things, like wrapping paper and boxes, that would be enough. They both give love without ceasing. I need to take their lead more. Faith like a child, right?

Here's a story I loved to read to my confirmation classes during Advent. It's all about putting it all out there, total faith, and experiencing the wonder and blessings of God by being a servant to others. That prepares our hearts for the coming of Jesus! More of that please!

http://www.elseroad.com/stories/jesus_is_coming_for_dinner.htm

The Green Eyed Monster!

I'll admit it, but don't tell my husband, (because I don't think he reads this blog anymore, you may have noticed he has abandoned his blog, "Fat Man Running" or "Everyone's Blogging But Me", and so he doesn't read other blogs)...

I am jealous of him.

Jealous, but also proud. His career as an artist and an educator has really taken off. He comes home, sometimes late, and gushes about how a student of his had an "aha" moment and the in depth conversation they had about the wonders of the universe to arrive at that moment. He has been nominated and elected by his colleagues to chair the general education department. He is revered as the education technology guru by his two co-teachers. He has developed a reputation with the students as a good teacher and his classes are filling up. He has developed an important benchmark test. He hob nobs with muckety-mucks who are important at gallery openings. He is advancing his teaching through new technology and professional development, which might include a trip to London in the spring. He won a bid to create a Corpus for a processional cross of a new church in Hiawatha, and they liked it so much they asked him to submit a design for the large hanging cross over the alter. Our neighbor has asked him to build a cabinet for them. The columns for the chapel at New Vienna have the board interested in other projects they could have him do. And it goes on and on and on!

These are things I used to do... when I had a career, and he was going to school... ah, how the roles have reversed! I can't wait to get back in there and start doing cool stuff with my talent and passion! In the meantime, isn't my husband cool?

Family Transportation Logistics

Our FTL (Family Transportation Logistics) is complicated. We have one patriotic blue short-bus minivan, AKA "the mini" AKA "the Blue Eagle". We also have one red 1994 stick shift, heat only, bench seat, Ford F150 with working tape cassette. Remember those? It is affectionately called "Clifford".

One gets around 24mpg, seats 7 people, has room for our children and all their crap, and I can drive it. The other gets 11mpg, seats 2 people, (3 if you want to get really friendly with the stick shift) is questionable whether it can accommodate car seats, and I can't drive it. I tried once, in New Bedford, with cars parked on both sides of the street, where around every corner is a new game of chicken. It wasn't pretty and I don't think my husband will allow it again.

We have always gotten by with a lot of walking. We are less than 500 feet from Addie's school, and only about 2 city blocks from our sitter's house. But our unpredictable schedules have led us to question if this will continue to work.

The logistics are as follows:
Addie needs to be at school by 8am 3 days out of the week. If I'm working, I'm out of the house with the only car I can drive with the car seats. So Hubby has to walk the girls up to school, and then walk Emily to the sitter, and then walk back, get in his truck and make it to work by 9. Usually works okay, except for those days he has to be to work earlier. On days Addie doesn't have school, one of those days our sitter has to take two kiddos to school, so she walks them up. We don't want to add 2 more kids for her to drag up there or leave with her husband/mother-in-law, so he waits until after 8 to bring them to her, again walking. Then there's pick up at the end of the day.

Enter winter... in Iowa... blowing snow, freezing rain, and 30 degrees Fahrenheit... oh, 30 degrees BELOW ZERO! Add to that no sidewalks in town and walking on the edge of the road made significantly smaller by the addition of snow banks, and those 2 measly blocks seem like an epic battle.

So here we are with essentially one vehicle to share. We need a new one, but we also need a second bathroom, so we're not sure what our financial priority is. We could shove a car seat in the truck, and a booster seat in the middle, for that 2 block time, which isn't technically illegal, but I'm a rule follower, so I don't know. Not to mention the time it takes to get kids into car seats and out again is going to be close to the same amount of exposure to the cold. Logistically speaking, anyone got any ideas?

P/T Conferences!

This was the first time I was on the other side of a parent-teacher conference. I was not sitting with manila folders full of documentation, nervously awaiting those killer parents, teeth barred, nails drawn, ready to rip your heart out because little johnny isn't acing your class. Truth be told, I LOVED parent teacher conferences. I always had really good experiences at them, because I felt that I was prepared and fought the alligators before they turned into T-Rexes. I had a well planned system of PPSSSF (praise, problem, 3 solutions, feedback), I know it sounds like I'm peeing, and really, I've never named it before and I don't know if that's trademarked or anything, it's just what I end up doing every time. And it worked.

So on a Tuesday night, after parent participation dance class, which was really fun, I found myself sitting across the table from another teacher, ready to hear what she had to say about my baby's progress in pre-school. Addie's teacher had a rating system, with four categories, where she explained our child's progress, what she was good at, and what she could work on.

Without further ado, here are the positives: She's good at knowing how others will feel, which is (bragging) highly advanced for her age! Reading and writing will be her thing, so having her practice writing will be beneficial. She has good comprehension, and a great imagination. She's come really far since starting preschool, and has matured well, as she is almost the youngest.

Things to work on: Mondays are bad. Each Monday, she seems to get a case of the Mondays. Except for last Monday, which she did great, but told us she was naughty and got a yellow light, only to turn around on Tuesday and actually get a yellow light... She gets frustrated if things aren't working the way she wants them to work. At this the teacher gave the example of how Addie couldn't get a puzzle piece to fit in the way she wanted it to fit. My husband and I both point to each other. But then he says, "So, instead of turning it to fit, she would rather take a pair of scissors and cut it to fit the way she wants?" and that's when I knew for sure, she is my child. Because that's totally my kind of stubborn!

Other things to work on were just the next step, not anything she's behind on. She's on track or above where she needs to be physically and academically, which makes us happy. She's a great pre-schooler, and her first PT conference went great!

Odds and Ends

Not really feeling the writing urge, I think because I've got homework to do so just a quick update to keep my typing fingers loose...

Homework is going painfully slow, I think because I get so backed up about how long it takes me that I don't even want to start it. I am learning a lot. It's interesting. I'm just not motivated, which is leading to procrastination, which is leading to panic, which makes me want to do it less. That and when I get a large chunk of time is a night when I'm tired. I will just focus on my end goal, which is my dream job, which is why I'm getting the endorsement.

I'm taking a hip hop class. I love learning new dances and perfecting them. The other ladies in the class are all former students of the instructor and friends, so I feel like an odd ball, but I'll work my charm. I wish it was longer too, it's only a half hour. I could use a good hour long brutal session once a week, but I'll take what I can get.

Subbing is still going well and I'm busy. I know this is what I need to do, and I'm being valuable to teachers and students as well as my family bringing a paycheck home. I got to sub a Beckman today, which would be really nice to teach at. I need more days there to work my charm!

My children are doing well, and with any luck this last round of sickness built up immunity and they'll be good the rest of the winter. I both hate and like it when they're sick, because I get to cuddle them, unopposed. But I don't like that I can't fix it right away.

I'm on cruise, waiting for God to point me in the right direction.

A whole lot of nothing

I'm coming down off my high of having hosted a fabulous pumpkin carving party at our house. I've often envied my dear friend Carrie, who is a top notch party planner, and could shame Martha with her organization, cooking, and cleaning skills. I am the antithesis of Martha, I abhor her, and the only respect I have of her is that she is so respected by Carrie, who I very much respect, so I guess she's okay. It went off without a hitch and I will post pictures when I get downstairs to pull them off the computer.

I've been subbing a lot, and some teachers are starting to take note. I had one stop in while I was subbing for another to let me know she appreciates me and that she'd love to work with me as a full time teacher. One teacher by-passed the automated call system for subs and called me directly to ask me to sub because she liked the job I did. She said other people in the building have taken note. Friday I was told by the two aides in the room that I needed to come back if the teacher was ever sick again, and I think they told the principal because she stopped in to watch me for a while.

I am establishing a good reputation and I'm working to meet my requirements for the whole social studies endorsement. I will have it by this summer. This will all help me reach my goal of having my very own classroom, with my very own kids to teach, broaden their horizons, share my experiences with, and learn from. I can't wait!

However, the announcement by our governor of budget cuts across the board has many schools and teachers panicking. Just walking through the doors the morning of the announcement, you could taste, smell, feel the fear. Teachers were huddled in little groups in the hallway, discussing what it meant for them and their colleagues. And I just want to throw my hands up in despair. Can't a girl catch a break? Will I be faced with yet another year of subbing? How can I make myself more competitive with teachers just out of college at a lower pay step?

I keep telling myself not to panic, the right job will come along, maybe this is just what I need to be doing right now with little ones, be patient... but negative thoughts keep popping into my head without warning, no matter how much I repeat those positive mantras to myself. I feel like there's a whole lot of nothing for job prospects right now, but I keep hearing from the education experts, "We desperately need good teachers!" I'm a good teacher! Here I am! Come and get me! I'm smart, I have lots of life and classroom experience, I'm passionate about learning, I have excellent rapport with students and colleagues, and I can walk into any classroom and control it. I just need a possibility!

Making up for being a bad mommy.

I have another child. There are no framed photos of her, her baby hand print is nowhere to be found, and I have not written about her for a while.

Her name is Emily, AKA Beanie Baby, (because she likes beans) Rocky, (because she likes rocks) Tank, (because she will plow through anything and just keep going) Chunk, (she used to be pretty chunky, and resembled Chunk from the Goonies) or Pumpkin (because she's cute).

She is growing so fast! Emily has started to listen and follow simple commands. "Where's your juice?" She will run and get her sippy cup. "Are you done?" She will nod or shake her head depending on what she wants. "Go get your shoes and bring them to me." She will go get them and then plop herself down to get her shoes put on. "No, don't...

...stand on the chair...

...pull all the tupperware out of the cupboard...

...put that in your mouth...

...touch the cat food...

...destroy my living room..."

Well, we have some things to work on!

She still really enjoys peek-a-boo, but the new favorite game is pointing and laughing, with great big toothy grins and large rolling belly laughs. We point and laugh back and everyone has a great time.

She gives the best kisses. She leans in, with a little smirk on her lips, bats her baby blue eyes, and plants a slimy, snot and saliva smooch right on the mouth. It's a kiss only a mommy could love, even though I make her sister give her kisses, because I think it's funny. "Ewwww! She SLIMED me!!!"

She has three new teeth recently, and it's been a struggle. She hasn't been her usual cheery self, but very irritable, with inconsistent eating habits, (not shoving everything in as fast as possible is unusual) and strange and variable poops.

She doesn't like my cooking. I know this because every time I go to do it she screams, clings to my legs, and uses language that I'm sure could rival the filthiest sailor, if I could understand it. She even cries real tears. It's awful! There is no distraction technique that has worked, she is very focused on making an already distasteful chore all that much more unenjoyable. So I can only conclude that she doesn't enjoy my cooking and would rather eat what daddy cooks. Me too, kiddo!

She now has a new passion for reading. The day I spoke my fear out loud to the sitter, my mom and my husband, that this baby does not like to sit still and read books, she discovered she actually did like some literature, and now regularly brings me her favorites. These include the bright and colorful set of 4 we bought from the traveling salesman, titled "My Word Book", "My Color Book", "My Number Book", and "My Shape Book." She also enjoys "How to be a Good Dog", "My Pretty Kitten", which is a little dirty and inappropriate for those of us with dirty minds, but it keeps it entertaining, "One, Two", and her new book from Grandma, "5 Little Lady Bugs." She is constantly bringing books up to us now and insisting that we read to her, which is great. I'm not sure who enjoys it more, me or her.

So, there's the update on Sweet Pickles, along with some pics...