The Glamorous Life

Why being a parent is "glamorous" based on what's cool and in style:

10. It's a reason to drink... a lot.
9. It's a reason NOT to drink a lot (baby 2 is the result).
8. New wardrobe (because you've gained weight).
7. Wearing sweats and bandannas is Bohemian.
6. Going to rehab or jail is in style... (doesn't that sound nice? 5 to 10 in solitary confinement, meals made for you and no one screaming "MOOOMMMMYYYY!!!!")
5. Flakiness is cool.
4. Knowing the words to the latest dance hits ("Hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog!... it's hot, right?)
3. Scheduled intimacy with a perfect stranger in a place where someone could walk in on you at any moment! (when did she learn to open doors!!!)
2. Night life starts at 7pm.
1. "Eu de bebe vomet"... it's french.