Tuesday, May 3, 2011


I did not get that job. I did not even get an interview. I got an e-mail saying they hired someone else. I have so many questions.
Why did someone else get it?
What was wrong with my application?
Am I obsolete?
Am I a bad teacher?
What now?

I could be anything I want to be, I've considered it heavily. But why was I given this passion for teaching in a classroom? I don't even know how to describe the feeling I get when I get to teach, when kids are learning. A conversation with a Senior track girl on a long ride home from Drake Relays made me realize other people have this pull too.
With an air of awe, she said, "When I'm working with a child, helping them with their speech, and they say something that I taught them how to say, my eyes fill with tears. I know this is what I'm meant for!"

I said I knew exactly how she felt, and I do, I really do.
Why do I have this feeling if I'm not going to do this with my life? Why don't I have this feeling for staying home and raising my own children? I feel like I'm getting burned out, tired, old, before I really even start my career, and these good years are being wasted on waiting.

Very frustrated.

1 comment:

Marijanna and Shaun said...

Don't fret yet dear friend. If I've learned anything it's that God sometimes allows our desires to burn inside of us while he allows us the time for other things and then will show us the "reason for the wait" when waiting is over. I'll pray for you.